My Christmas Card Blog...(suitable for printing and hanging from that Card Clothesline thingey you have hanging over the fireplace)

I give up...

I am a complete and utter failure at Christmas cards.

For the record, let it be known that I tried.....very hard....to mail out Christmas cards this year.


....OK, I tried........maybe not very hard...


...Ohhh-kaaaaay...............maybe I just THOUGHT about sending them out, but never actually went out to buy them.

It's the thought that counts, right??

Yeah.......I'm not buying that either.

I used to be really good about mailing out cards at the holidays.  I would go to the store nice and early to find just the perfect card to buy in bulk.  Nothing too flashy nor too generic...something with a little style--but wasn't garish...and I'd take care to read each of the messages, looking for just the right sentiment.  Some years I'd go with a whimsical card, sometimes something outright hilarious, other times serene and thoughtful.  But come the first weekend in December, I was ready.  I would sit down at the table (while my Christmas cookies baked in the oven) and go through each entry in my address book, writing a lovely handwritten message in each card to each recipient, addressing and stamping each envelope when finished.  I would then drive down to the nearest post office and drop anywhere from 50 to 140 cards into the mailbox and congratulate myself on my timeliness, thoughtfulness, and preparedness.

Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh......did I mention that was "USED TO"??

This year, not only did I not even bother to buy cards, but I discovered that I also misplaced my address book in one of the numerous moves I've gone through in the last 2 years.  So if you weren't already in my phone's address book, I truly have no idea where you live any longer (and let me put it this way...I have my mother's address in my phone.  that's it.  period.).   And then there's the whole receiving cards thing.  Referring back to the many residences I've occupied in the last 4 to 5 years...lets face it....the post office is probably still trying to deliver cards to me from 7 homes and 5 years ago!

On the one hand, I feel awful that I didn't send out any cards this year (along with a current "Change of Address" notification), but on the other hand, most of the people that I would correspond with I can find daily on Facebook.  So if I post an all encompassing "Merry Christmas", "Happy New Year", "blah blah blah" type of message...does that count at least a third of what taking the time to mail out a physical card is worth?

Probably not.

I guess I could go to http://www.hallmark.com/ and send out e-cards to everyone I know.  They have some rather cute designs and I think all of their cards have music and some type of animation--you can even personalize them with pictures and more elaborate messages for a small fee.  But somehow that strikes me along the lines of the Facebook post.  While slightly more meaningful because it's slightly more labor intensive, it still strikes of being rather impersonal and generic.  I know it's the socially and environmentally sound thing to do.....but clicking "Send" just doesn't have the same gratifying tongue-numbing effect that licking the better half of 150 stamps and envelops brings.

I envy those people that come up with those "Letter from the family..." types of things.  You know what I''m talking about.  All printed up on lovely paper, adorned with pictures and clippings...it's a recap of so-and-so family's experiences and accomplishments over the past year.  I love the little insights into what The Smith Family has achieved throughout the last 11 months.  But they can sometimes make you feel a teensy bit jealous in a "look at my life" kind of way.  Although I guess it can also be considered a good guideline.  Think about it:  they kinda help you get a general idea of where the bar starts that you'll have to exceed next year in order to qualify to send out your own letter at year's end.  I mean, as happy as you are  that Uncle Joe got early parole and that little Floyd FINALLY passed the 3rd grade (after only 2 times, even!!)...is that REALLY the kind of thing you want going up against the Smith Family's trip to rescue pandas and other endangered animals from, y'know, panda-cannibals in some far off village you can't even pronounce that then earned them a Nobel prize nomination?  I think not.

So here I sit...December 21st.  Not a single card purchased, written, sealed, stamped nor mailed.  And even if I found the last minute strength to rush out, buy cards, email everyone asking for their address, then haul butt to fill them out, race off to the post office and drop them in the lovely blue boxes...there's just no way they'd make it to their destinations on time.  The US Postal Service is good....but they're not miracle workers.  Besides, I'd feel guilty adding to their last minute workload.  I mean, I admire the commitment to delivering despite snow, rain, heat and gloom....but these people have families to get home to; they do not need to be hauling my little envelope up 3 flights of stairs to a studio apartment at 6pm on Christmas Eve just because of my lazy butt!  (Course I'm sure their accounting department would dare to differ...34 cents, after all is 34 cents....times 150 cards equals...something.  Oh forget it...  My blog--No math).

So for those of you wonderful people out there that normally would receive a Christmas card from me...please accept my deepest apologies for a complete lack of energy and utter procrastination.  I meant well....the planning phase was successful, implementation left something to be desired.  Meanwhile, don't be too surprised if you receive an email anywhere from February to mid-July asking for your address; it'll just be my attempt to rebuild my address book throughout the year in preparation for next year.  Next year I'll be at the store before Thanksgiving stocking up on cards and stamps and I'll plan out a weekend to bake cookies and write out all of my lovely sentiments and greetings.....maybe I'll even try my hand at a "Letter from the family"....

....unless Uncle Joe gets thrown back in the slammer for violating parole. 

Then I'll just stick with "Happy Holidays and all the best for the New Year."

The weather may be colder, but our hearts grow warmer....

It's the most...wonderful time....of the year....

OK...so perhaps I used that awhile ago...but that was in reference to football season.  But this time, I'm actually using these infamous music lyrics to describe the holiday season.  I absolutely love the holiday season; starting with Thanksgiving and ending with New Year's.  It is, by far, the absolute best.  I love watching the lights go up at each house...new displays that show up night, after night, after night; so there's always something new to look at.  I love driving past tree lots, watching the families walking around and choosing just the right tree--seeing the kids get all excited, running around the car as the tree is tied to the roof.  I then love going out and looking for my own tree...deeply inhaling the smell of pine through my nose, and feeling for the freshest tree by running my fingers along the branches, feeling the bristled needles and the stickiness of the sap.  I love holiday shopping...finding just the right gift for the right person...even if means suffering thru traffic and parking 3 miles away from the mall.  And then there's the music...from celestial to non-denom, traditional to modern, it's the only time of year that people actually admit to listening to Johnny Mathis, Perry Como and Andy Williams without getting the "you're listening to WHO?" looks from other people.  I will have The Chipmunks blasting in my car and smile when (at a red light) I find myself next to some guy who, while sporting his tats, a mohawk and piercings, will start mouthing "Christmas...Christmas...time is here..." right along with me.   Despite the fact that I am a warm-weather type of gal, there is no doubt that November to January is my favorite time of year....hands down.

Now I could ramble on about my thoughts on this holiday season...but instead, I'd like to share with you an article that I cut out and kept from...oh...I don't even know how long ago now.  When I first read it, it struck me in such a way that I couldn't help but cut it out and frame it.  Now, every year, when I pull out my Christmas decorations, it goes on the wall, gets propped up against a counter; it goes somewhere where I can read it and it reminds me how magical this time of year is...what I have to be thankful for...and just how...despite whatever type of year it was...how happy I am to have made it to another holiday season.  I've never really had a medium where I can share this with the masses...but it dawns on me that, thanks to this blog, I have the chance to share this article with all of you...my friends...friends of friends...and complete strangers.  And in case you're wondering why I chose to retype this instead of share my own sentiments, well....to me...this article is written so well, and the words are so powerful, that there's nothing I could compose that would have the same impact that these words do.  So enjoy...and thank you...Renee Schafer Horton...for writing this article, so many years ago....

"Beliefs for the Season of Joy and Giving --
December is the month in which the Scrooges of the world are separated with a fair amount of ease from the Tiny Tims.  You've got your "ho-ho-ho, isn't it a wonderful time of year" kind of people and then you got your "when will it be over" types.

I'm in the first category.  I pretty much love everything about the Christmas holiday except for fruitcake and the occasional, unavoidable traffic jam.

I love singing Christmas carols, decorating sugar cookies, drinking hot apple cider, reading children's holiday books, putting up Christmas lights in the yard and sitting quietly in a darkened church listening to the nativity narrative out of the Gospel of Luke.

But mostly what I like about the Christmas season is the sense of belief this month engenders in me.  I can be a caustic, cynical, negative-wave kind of person 11 months out of the year, but come the first Sunday in December, I'm all sweetness and light because I'm put back in touch with a deep belief in the impossible.

Christians worldwide believe that a young unmarried virgin conceived a child, gave birth to him in a stable and was told by an angel that her child was the Messiah -- a pretty impossible story.

It doesn't matter that I know similar tales of virgin births have been documented by researchers studying the power of myth or that some theologians argue that Jesus Christ was nothing more than a political problem.  All that matters is that when I set out our creche, something inside me clicks and the mustard seed of faith that struggles for life all year starts to grow.

No matter how rotten the weeks leading up to December, my heart softens as the days shorten, and certain truths become crystal clear.

With that in mind, I'd like to share my December Beliefs:

I believe that a room illuminated only by the lights of a Christmas tree cures just about any ill.

That said, I believe Christmas decorations should be banned from sale until after Thanksgiving.  Having Christmas trimmings next to the Halloween candy really gets on my nerves.

I believe that everyone at least once in his or her lives, should go to a nursing home during December and sing Christmas carols.

I believe that women, in general, need to take a lesson from men on how to forgive and forget.

I believe that men, in general, need to take a lesson from women in how to multi-task at home.

I believe giving is more fun than receiving, especially if you can surprise the recipient.

I believe that a room of homemade sugar cookies, colored frosting and 4-year-olds is something akin to heaven.

I believe that saying something nice is just as easy as saying something mean.

I believe the best thing about the Catholic Church is that I can show up for Mass in jeans with holes in the knees and still feel welcomed.

I believe a good bottle of wine, a warm blanket and a comfortable couch make conversation almost unnecessary among best friends.

I believe it is impossible to argue with someone while you are holding hands.

I believe everyone has a story worth listening to.

I believe that fruitcake, used judiciously, could solve the problem in the Middle East.

That said, I believe two mothers should be put in charge of the Middle East peace process.

I believe honesty alone is enough to get us to God.

I believe that when someone is crying you should hold that person until the tears stop.

I believe that I am abundantly blessed and that most of the time I forget that fact.

I believe everyone should watch "It's a Wonderful Life" at least once.

I believe that miracles still happen, we just miss them because we aren't paying attention.

And finally, I believe that lots of the time, life hurts, but that it's still worth living.  Especially during December."