Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Wired, tired and looking to get hired...

I have learned a valuable lesson tonight.

Don't drink coffee after 8pm.

It's after midnight...I'm exhausted and wide awake at the same time, and it's possible I'm starting to become slightly delusional.  This is not good.  I'm supposed to be out job hunting tomorrow, errrr, today.  Somehow, I don't think it'll make a great impression on a potential employer if I show up with bags under my eyes bigger than you'd find at a Kate Spade store. maybe it's not just the coffee that's keeping me awake.  I have a lot on my mind these days.  I said on my last post that I needed to find a job, and that I'd wait until the following week to do so.  Well, the following week has arrived...and now I find myself facing the daunting task of actually going out, filling out applications, praying for an interview, then hoping to survive said interview so I can wait by the phone for 3 days praying for a job offer.  It's been a long time since I've actually gone through this process. How I was hired at my last job was, to put it mildly, unconventional.  And the interview that landed me my job with the employer before that consisted of flying around in an airplane and talking on the radio.  Needless to say, I'm a little out of practice at this job-hunting, interviewing thing.

I'd really like to find another job at a brewery; I really, really did enjoy that work.  But does lightning strike twice?  Will I be lucky enough to find such a fabulous gig again? I'd like to hope so...I'd like to have a "glass half full" mindset right about now.  But also looking at the "glass half empty"...what would I do if I don't find said wonderful work?  What else am I qualified to do?

Well, lets go to a job website and see, shall we?

OK...first thing on the list...."Professional Mover".  Next on the list "Driver".

I kid you not...these are the first two listings when the page opens up.  Does someone know what I've been doing these last few weeks or is that just insane irony?

Next up...female model for fashion shoot.  Yeeeaaaaahhhh, me and my 34 inch waistline will get right on that.  NEXT!

Mortgage Consultant.  Well, I have a mortgage...does that count towards experience?  No? 
OK...moving on.

Here's a listing under San Diego jobs for a position in Tucson.  Didn't I just come from there 3 or 4 cities ago?  Now I KNOW someone is messing with me (either that, or it's a hint).

Wow...this is harder than I thought it was going to be.  Maybe it would be easier if I just posted my own listing...

"Out-of-work, beer-pouring, traffic reporter seeks employment.  Qualifications include, but are not limited to, strong communication skills (in other words, I can talk...a lot), can handle time sensitive situations (like, having to drive across the country in under 3 days), can type 50+ words per minute (as long as using spell check is allowed), is highly motivated (needing to pay the rent will make anyone motivated, let's be honest), and plays well with others.  Salary negotiable; however, I would like company car, a corner office and a 4 day work week. Only serious offers considered."

Memo to me: "Don't drink coffee after 8pm."