In case you didn't know this about me...I've been a bit of a nomad these last few years. In 4 years I've lived in 4 cities (I had a speed dial button for U-Haul); but I've had at least 9 different mailing addresses. Seriously. There are probably Christmas cards from December 2006 still trying to find their way to me. I can't even vote any longer...the center for Voter Registration for the entire Western United States finally just emailed me and said they've removed me from the roster - that it's not in their budget to keep printing and mailing me a new voter registration card for each address change I submit.
But no matter how many boxes I pack or unpack, I will always have my hometown.
I was born and lived in Tucson, Arizona for 34 years. It's where I grew up, went to school, bought (and sold) my first house, got my first job, got fired from my 4th job, learned how to ride a bike, drive a car, and drive my mother crazy. I know where to get the best BLT in the world (Daggwood's), where the classiest dive bars are (Cowpony, Golden Nugget, API...what side of town do you want to be on?), the best place to get away from it all (Gadabout at River and Campbell), and I know the side streets to take in order to escape traffic (I draw the line there...I can't give up ALL of my secrets). It's where my family lives, where I can find some of my closest friends, and where I never feel out of place.
Tucson is an amazing city - the desert, the mountains; it's a small, intimate town filled with 900,000 of your closest friends. On the other hand, there are only three seasons (summer, not summer and college basketball), it can be a tough outdoor type of town (especially when the not-so-occasional 105 degree day pops up), and there's no ocean nearby (yeah, I know...that whole "desert" thing). But no matter how much time lapses between visits, there remains an amazing sense of familiarity I feel as soon as I'm within 25 miles of the city limits. I can feel the smile automatically come to my face when I look out the window of the airplane and watch as the desert landscape slowly turn residential, or when I see the Catalina Mountains draw closer as I zoom eastbound on I-10.
Inevitably there comes a moment in my visit where I find myself idly pondering the the idea of moving back. Could I live in the desert again? I'd be close to the family - nearer to my friends. But almost as soon as the thought appears, I realize Tucson has its place in my life - but it's not as a permanent residence any longer. Because for as much as I love my visits to The Old Pueblo, there is also something to be said for getting back on that airplane, or driving west on I-10 back to my home in Los Angeles. I love eating at all of my Tucson Originals restaurants...but I start to miss the quirks of my own kitchen, sangria at M Street Kitchen and donuts from Randy's. Being able to see all of the stars in the sky at night, or the city lights from the foothills is wonderful - but I really do have a hard time falling asleep without the sound of 9 squad cars, 3 fire trucks and a helicopter randomly zooming past my apartment. And I won't make any comment about the change in climate from Arizona to So Cal...all I'll say is that I need to put on a sweatshirt when I walked out of LAX, even in June.
I think that no matter where you're from or where you end up, your hometown always holds a special place in your heart; but home is wherever you are...and that it's important to make the most of where that is. Even for a nomad like myself. I may not have 34 years experience in So Cal, but I'm already well into year 4...so it's slowly starting to catch up.
Meanwhile, there are always flights daily to Arizona if I get a little homesick or find myself in desperate need of an amazing BLT.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
A Letter
Dear Me:
It's time for a chat.
You've been hanging around now for about 38+ years. I figure that's just about enough time for you to have figured some stuff out, but still leaving you with enough time to learn a few more things...like French. Or how to rebuild the engine of a 67 Mustang. Or how to make the perfect souffle. You've been a few places, seen a few things, had quite a few adventures. All in all, you've had a pretty good run so far.
But lately it seems as though you've been on the cusp of a change; and I've noticed that it's freaking you out a little bit. You're starting to wonder if you're getting "old"...wondering why it is you can't keep up with your younger self any longer. You swear you don't feel old - but yet...there's this nagging feeling in the back of your mind..."maybe I am...??" Well guess what. You ARE getting older you nit....but that doesn't mean you have to BE old. So before you go out and buy a walker, fill your wardrobe with polyester pantsuits and start looking forward to the early-bird special at the buffet, it's time for a little self reflection with a few simple truths:
1) No, it's not your imagination...your hair really is turning gray. But you found the first one at age 17...so somehow this is a surprise to you??
2) No, you will never have the body of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Doesn't mean you have to quit trying, though.
3) Meanwhile...yes, your metabolism may slowing down - but only in direct proportion to how slow you are in getting up off your ass to go hit the gym. Those slices of pizza you wolf down and figure you'll just "work off later"...yeah, lemme tell you something. With you..."later" doesn't come naturally; so think long and hard about that next slice.
4) It's not really that last drink that does you in....it's numbers 1 through 10 prior.
5) You really have done some pretty awesome shit in your life.
5.1) You really have done some pretty awful shit in your life.
6) Up until now you've done a pretty good job of not getting hung up on the whole age thing...you really should keep it up.
7) You do some things well, others - not so much. That's just how it is. So be thankful for your strengths and either get crackin' on your weaknesses, or quit whining.
8) You have good family and friends - you really should call or write to them more often.
9) You probably will never fully learn French - but you should not give up on the idea of moving to Paris.
10) There really is such a thing as owning too many handbags.
There you go. A small dose of reality right smack upside the head, reminding you that yes things are changing - but it really isn't as bad as you think it is. You need to realize that you really aren't the same person you were 1, 5, 10 or 15 years ago...that time and experiences have changed you. And that it really is OK to adapt to those changes; just don't look at it so negatively. So maybe you can't finish off a Scorpion from the Kon Tiki room...doesn't mean you can't still split it with friends. Like 10 or so nowadays....
So the next time you start moping around wondering "what am I doing with my life...what's happened to me", just accept that things are changing...but what matters is what you do with it. Because you can either sit around and feel sorry for yourself, or get up and learn how to deal with it before "Life - Part Deux" fires up.
Hey look...French. There's hope for you yet.
Sincerely,
Me.
It's time for a chat.
You've been hanging around now for about 38+ years. I figure that's just about enough time for you to have figured some stuff out, but still leaving you with enough time to learn a few more things...like French. Or how to rebuild the engine of a 67 Mustang. Or how to make the perfect souffle. You've been a few places, seen a few things, had quite a few adventures. All in all, you've had a pretty good run so far.
But lately it seems as though you've been on the cusp of a change; and I've noticed that it's freaking you out a little bit. You're starting to wonder if you're getting "old"...wondering why it is you can't keep up with your younger self any longer. You swear you don't feel old - but yet...there's this nagging feeling in the back of your mind..."maybe I am...??" Well guess what. You ARE getting older you nit....but that doesn't mean you have to BE old. So before you go out and buy a walker, fill your wardrobe with polyester pantsuits and start looking forward to the early-bird special at the buffet, it's time for a little self reflection with a few simple truths:
1) No, it's not your imagination...your hair really is turning gray. But you found the first one at age 17...so somehow this is a surprise to you??
2) No, you will never have the body of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Doesn't mean you have to quit trying, though.
3) Meanwhile...yes, your metabolism may slowing down - but only in direct proportion to how slow you are in getting up off your ass to go hit the gym. Those slices of pizza you wolf down and figure you'll just "work off later"...yeah, lemme tell you something. With you..."later" doesn't come naturally; so think long and hard about that next slice.
4) It's not really that last drink that does you in....it's numbers 1 through 10 prior.
5) You really have done some pretty awesome shit in your life.
5.1) You really have done some pretty awful shit in your life.
6) Up until now you've done a pretty good job of not getting hung up on the whole age thing...you really should keep it up.
7) You do some things well, others - not so much. That's just how it is. So be thankful for your strengths and either get crackin' on your weaknesses, or quit whining.
8) You have good family and friends - you really should call or write to them more often.
9) You probably will never fully learn French - but you should not give up on the idea of moving to Paris.
10) There really is such a thing as owning too many handbags.
There you go. A small dose of reality right smack upside the head, reminding you that yes things are changing - but it really isn't as bad as you think it is. You need to realize that you really aren't the same person you were 1, 5, 10 or 15 years ago...that time and experiences have changed you. And that it really is OK to adapt to those changes; just don't look at it so negatively. So maybe you can't finish off a Scorpion from the Kon Tiki room...doesn't mean you can't still split it with friends. Like 10 or so nowadays....
So the next time you start moping around wondering "what am I doing with my life...what's happened to me", just accept that things are changing...but what matters is what you do with it. Because you can either sit around and feel sorry for yourself, or get up and learn how to deal with it before "Life - Part Deux" fires up.
Hey look...French. There's hope for you yet.
Sincerely,
Me.
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