Wednesday, July 27, 2011

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Kids, No Problem...

So there's an article online today that's talking about the "No Kids Allowed" movement and how it's popularity is starting to spread across the country.  I find this idea intriguing for many different reasons. 

Now wait, wait, wait....before I go any farther, a few disclaimers:

1)  I do not have kids
2)  I like kids
3)  I have never wanted to have kids...however, please re-read disclaimer number 2 so we're all on the same page., that's out of the way.  Now back to, "I find this whole "No Kids Allowed" movement very intriguing for many different reasons." 

First, I think it's nice to finally see that those of us who have chosen to NOT have children start to use our "outdoor voice" in society.  I mean, isn't it time we stop having to to stammer and come up with excuses when getting the "so....when are you going to start having kids" inquisition and once-over?  Seriously?  The bride hasn't even changed out of her wedding dress and you want to see her in maternity clothing?  Although, to be fair...I'm still trying to figure out why it is people always push for marriage.  Got a fabulous career....great.  Make your own money, have your own car and nice.  Have a good set of friends and peers...that's lovely.  Don't have a spouse yet....well, what the hell is wrong with you?   Isn't it just good enough that we're all out there getting by from one day to the next?  Just because someone is single, married without kids, or single with kids, who's business is it if you're ever going to get married, give those children "a mommy or daddy" or even start crankin' em out?  When do we get a chance to just be happy with our lives the way they are?

I think kids are wonderful.  I have lots of friends who have lovely children; my niece is my own particular favorite.  I love that I can spend time with 'em, spoil 'em, whatever...and then at the end of the day hand them back over and go home.  But therein lies the key phrase...hand them back over.  Because for as much as I love my adorable little niece (and yes, she is WAY adorable), there are plenty of times where I'd rather be somewhere without kids all over the place.  And I'm not even talking about being in a scenario where kids are expected to be - I mean, how do you not know what you're getting into the minute you put a toe on the property of a McDonald's?  But shouldn't there be limits?  Do there have to be strollers the size of Mini-Coopers taking up entire sidewalks at a time?  Can you not go to dinner at a 4-star restaurant at 9pm without the side-symphony of  a kid crying because he's tired and wants to go home?  I think it's great that I can bundle up my niece and take her almost anywhere I want - but it doesn't mean that I want to, nor that I should HAVE to. there are probably those that would say..."well you're trying to rob me of my rights when it comes to my kids.  I should be able to go wherever and whenever I want..." blah, blah, blah.  I guess my argument is this...short of the topless bar, there are plenty of other places you can take your kids now, but there are very few places that people who choose not to have kids can escape them.  Shouldn't there be some type of equality put into play?  If you have 7 movie theaters to choose from to bring your kids and watch a movie - can't I have at least one or two showings where kids aren't allowed; regardless if it's Cars2 or not?  I fully understand that Disneyland will never be without children - but would it be so awful to offer the occasional 21 and older night?  There are hundreds of hotels in any given there anything REALLY wrong with wanting to go to a luxury resort that doesn't have to have cartoon characters on their brochures? 

I don't think society will ever get to a point where there isn't someone wanting to have a baby out there somewhere; so I'm pretty sure the "Brat Ban" isn't going to wreak a whole lot of havoc upon us.  But like any other choice in life - it is that...a choice.  Neither side is right...both sides are wrong.  So we'll compromise...if you promise to not get upset with me when I'm cruising around in a two seat Boxter instead of a mini-van, I will stop complaining to my accountant every April about the tax break you get for having kids to begin with.  I promise I will stop cussing loudly in front of little Johnny if you promise to take him out of the restaurant for disciplinary action when he starts screaming and throwing things.  I will smile and continue to contribute to school and district taxes if you encourage and support their education, reminding them that their dream of becoming a "Reality TV Star" is not a sufficient reason to not do well in high school.

As my mother used to say...if both sides ain't happy...then the right decision was made.

Speaking of which...Mom...thanks for being one of those that wanted to have kids....

...although hopefully you wouldn't have gotten too much crap you if you hadn't.