So I woke up this morning and reached for my daily dose of what's going on in the world from the most reliable source of news around...Facebook. And you can laugh all you want at that statement, but I tell you what, I can get a more accurate picture of what's going on in the world around me through Facebook than I can from turning on the television.
Anyway - so I'm scoping out what's new in the world, baseball happenings, football training camp news, new cat memes (y'know....the important stuff) - when I suddenly realize that something is different...
Thus far, I've been able to evade Facebook and its much debated Timeline feature. But it looks like they found me at last. I've heard both good and bad to the whole Timeline phenom...but personally, at this point in the game, I really don't have a preference either way. I've merely been dreading making the change for one very simple reason: Organizational Procrastination. See, Facebook serves its purpose as a scrapbook/ diary/ photo album - but whereas you occasionally go through your scrapbooks, photo albums and diaries and stop to organize things here and there, I haven't done anything but collect and clutter since day one. It's sort of developed into one gigantic online junk drawer. So now here comes Timeline with the opportunity to "clean up" my profile before it's re-posted to the entire world. Great. Now the pressure is on. Now I have to go through the last 2 years of stuff and figure out what is actually relevant, important, useless, what was a drunk-post and what's just plain "what?".
All right then...let's do this. First things first - I have to select something called a "Cover Photo". So wait - it already takes me 30 minutes to choose which picture diminishes my lovely double chin feature to use as a "Profile Picture" - even though I'm only the size of a paper clip - and now I have to use something that's splashed across half the screen? Couldn't this thing have been made vertical instead of horizontal? I really don't look good in landscape....it's like wearing stripes for web pages.
Next - "Update Info"....well, that looks good. "Activity Log"....sounds complicated, let's deal with that later. "Friends".....HOLY CRAP! I don't know this many people. How did I accumulate this many "friends"? All right, well sorry folks, but this is going to be the first thing to get picked through. Can you have a yard sale of your FB Friends? What about trades? "Pssst - I'll give you all my former co-workers for your friend that has the discount at Kate Spade." I'm probably going to offend people if they even notice that I've removed them from my account - so if you're reading this but realize you're no longer my friend on Facebook, don't take it personally. I'll make it up to you the next time we go shopping...I got a really good deal for your Facebook friendship.
OK, what's next.... Wow! Look all these posts. And pictures. There's a lot of stuff in here. LA Food Tour...trips to San Francisco, Tucson, Vegas...pictures with friends...new restaurants...holidays...I forgot about some of these things. Hey look! I have pictures of friends!! Whoops....I hope I didn't delete all of you now that I have faces to go with names again.
Let's see, what else do I have posted here. Wildcats....Steelers....Wildcats....Steelers....Tigers...Beer. Beer, beer, beer, wine, alcohol, Steelers. Wildcats, Wildcats, U of A - hate ASU - Wildcats. Football. Football. Football. Football. Steelers Superbowl getting there- yeah! Steelers Superbowl losing- bummer. More alcohol. I have written posts....pictures...memes...holy geez. There have to be at least 100 posts that probably have no relevant use any longer just in sports and booze alone. No wonder all my ads are for online gambling and rehab centers. Gotta clean those up a bit.
What else is in here...Born? Well thank you Facebook for not including the year. Not that it would bother me all that much - and not that I have anything in there right now anyway - but if I decide to start adding stuff I don't know if you're authorized to travel that far back on the Information Superhighway without building a Rest Area.
OK, I think that's about it. Well I guess that wasn't too terrible after all. Guess this means I'm good to go again for at least another couple of years. Oh look!!!....
A cat meme that references beer....definitely off to a good start.