Thursday, September 17, 2015

5 Years, 15 Months and 100 Posts Later....


It has been just over 5 years since I started this blog.  In that time I've had half a dozen addresses, a few career changes and a couple of name changes.  When I started writing this blog, I was at a point in my life where I felt very lost.  Writing was always an outlet for me, but instead of penning thoughts into notebooks no one would read, writing this blog allowed me to share my musings with anyone and make a connection.  It's a very vulnerable feeling, putting your thoughts out into the world for anyone to read, but it made me feel less alone, sharing where I'd been and what I'd seen, and maybe getting a laugh or two from someone out there. I don't really remember if I thought that I would still be writing 5 years later...and yet I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm kind of upset with myself that it took me 5 years to get to post number 100. 


Today I've been sober for 15 months.  15 months.  To all of the bartenders I no longer support - please accept my sincerest apology if I set you back a tax bracket or two. In all seriousness, not a day goes by that I don't think about having a drink. But not a day goes by that I am thankful I had the courage to say "when".  Sobriety is a conundrum.  Fear and Courage are steady companions.  Fear is easy to dismiss when you're swimming in a six-pack.  But you second guess things when your "liquid courage" is gone.  Sobriety forces you to take accountability for what you do with your life - you can't just blame it on the booze.  You have no choice but to face yourself, your choices and your future with nothing to hide behind or blame for your actions later on.  So it's strange to live with this nagging background noise of fear that I will falter, but still find the courage to not take a drink each day.


Yesterday was the 100th post of this blog.  I've written from different countries, about different cities, friends, family, food...even my dog wrote his own post (kinda).  100 posts later and I still love writing to you. The challenge, of course, is finding things to write about outside of the ordinary and mundane.  But as long as there are cities to visit, things to do, or National Days of Something to celebrate, I'll always have something to write about.  I know that everybody is busy with their own lives and experiences - but I really enjoy sharing with you the weirdness that I either randomly come across or purposely go in search of.  I do have my limits, however.  For example, I will never share a skydiving experience with you.  If you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, I have to say that you're on your own.  But you could always write about it and share with me.  I'll even turn on a fan and scream while I read for a full sensory experience.


A small string of numbers.  But some big milestones for me.  Thank you for still being here.