All in all, it's good to be sober.
This is not to say that there aren't still the occasional bumps in the road. Let's be honest, if sobriety was easy, everyone would be doing it, right? But drinking is fun - it's social, it's relaxing, it's tasty. Trust me; I haven't forgotten about all of the fun parts of the bar scene. It's not easy to walk away from something that's such an integral part of society. But when the final call for last round comes in your life, realize that you're not the first to go through it, and you won't be the last (even though you will feel like the only sober person in the world at times).
So I thought I would share with you a few things that I've learned in my travels. They're not meant to scare you off the path of sobriety by any means; quite the opposite. And hopefully by reading a little about what I've experienced, you'll feel a little better prepared for the road ahead.
Everyone's Path to Sobriety is Different:
I've said this before, and I'll say it again, your addiction is your own beast to fight. There is no magic one-size-fits-all recipe to follow when you decide to quit drinking. Everyone drinks differently, so it stands to reason that everyone will get sober differently. When you make the decision to stop drinking, you have to also contemplate how you want your recovery to go. Are you a cold turkey kind of person? Do you need a support group? Can you get by with just one or two go-to people helping you out?Also realize that there are many different ideas about what a sober life is. There are some some who say no form of alcohol should ever pass the lips ever again - no non-alcoholic beer, no cooking with wine, nothing; the idea being that the slightest whiff of alcohol is enough to put some into a relapse. Others view non-alcoholic beer as acceptable (provided we're talking 0.5% alcohol by volume - such as O'Doul's) because it still resembles the taste of beer and is helpful in social situations.
In case you're wondering, yes, I have had a few NA beers throughout my sobriety. Do I still consider myself 810 days sober...hell, yes. Ask another recovering alcoholic and they may not feel the same way. But it's my recovery, not theirs. Did one O'Doul's cause me to run to the nearest pub and stick my head under a tap? Nope. In fact, it actually helped me maintain a sober life on a few occasions.
There is no cut-and-dry way to approach sobriety. With a clear mind, truly take the time to think about how you want to tackle your demons. This first step will go a long way to a long-term recovery.
Don't Get Hung Up On The Finality Of Your "Final" Drink:
"Well, I wasn't thinking about it before, but now that you've put the thought in my brain...," you may be saying to yourself.It's only fair that I mention it though, because at some point you will think of an upcoming event or milestone and suddenly realize you'll be facing it sober: your 40th birthday, your 50th anniversary, your new home, your new job, on and on and on. If you get hung up on the drinks that will never be, or lament too much about your last shot - you're setting yourself up to give up and give in. When I start thinking about vineyards I'll never visit or new brews I'll never get to sample, it can be downright depressing. But then I remember that I can't remember my last drink; which puts into perspective why I started this journey to begin with. The milestones will never stop - regardless of if you're drinking or not. But you can always learn new and different ways to celebrate the occasions, and that will go a long way to making your sobriety successful.
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| Celebrating my birthday with coffee! |
Sugar, Sugar, Sugar, Sugar, Sugar:
I was never a huge dessert person...until I quit drinking. Suddenly, I was ready to order cake as an entree with pie for dessert! Why the sudden cravings? When you drink, the alcohol can temporarily raise dopamine levels in your brain. Guess what else increases your happy hormones? Sugar. So if you're a pretty consistent drinker, your body may be accustomed to a certain level of dopamine. When you suddenly cut the supply, your brain isn't going to just say, "That's cool, we can do without." No. It's going to want you to find a replacement, and find it NOW!!!!! And unfortunately, if you're not careful, you may trade in your alcohol addiction for a sugar addiction without even realizing it. So when you quit drinking, if you suddenly find yourself craving sweets where you never did before - it's OK and it's not unheard of.
Cake for breakfast is fine...so long as it's not the entire cake!
You May Become Just A Teensy Bit Judgmental:
Don't be too surprised if that raucous, center-of-attention, loudly-laughing person at the bar that you used to love hanging out with is no longer quite as much fun to be around as he or she used to be. In fact, suddenly he or she has become downright annoying when you're trying to have a conversation, enjoy a meal or watch the game out with friends. No, it's not your imagination - you have officially stepped into the quasi-elitist Judgmental Zone of sobriety.You laugh, but it's true.
It's not their fault - just like it wasn't yours. After all, it's not called "Liquid Courage" for no reason. Alcohol takes away all your fears and inhibitions. Suddenly you are everything to everyone and beyond. Until you're on the other side of it. Then the booze just makes them loud and obnoxious, and unappealing, and clingy, and dreadful. Were you and your fellow drinkers awesome when you were drunk - hell, yeah! Are those same people awesome when they're partying away and you're stone cold sober...probably not. Don't be too hard on them or yourself, just chalk it up to another part of your life you've left behind and enjoy the people watching....
.....from a distance.
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| I don't remember who sent this to me - just thank the internet |
Finally, Don't Be Afraid To Be "The Sober One"
As I mentioned earlier, your life and the milestones in it will come and go whether you like it or not. As a sober person, eventually you will find yourself in a situation where people around you are drinking and celebrating, and you're standing there with a glass of water or a cup of coffee telling person after person, "No, I don't need a drink...thank you anyway." Don't worry. You're not the elephant in the room. You're not flawed or a failure just because you've decided to live the sober life.... |
| Airplane! Still funny when you're sober |
No matter what the internet tries to tell you.
In fact, you're more self-aware than most people in the room because you've taken a hard look at your life and decided alcohol doesn't need to be a part of it. Raise a glass of sparkling water and toast your ongoing success! Embrace your sobriety! Be proud of it! At the end of the night, you can still find your car (and be the one driving it home). You're not juggling money around in order to pay the rent. You're not waking up with your head on the seat and your hand in a toilet.
...not that ANY of these things has ever happened to me....
Ahh....it's definitely good to be sober!
